The death of a loved one is high stress and inherently emotional. Throwing money into the mix aggravates those feelings a hundred fold.

According to National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) figures from 2006, the average funeral cost more than $6,000. No doubt that price has risen, adding fiscal injury to one of life’s most difficult realities. Though more and more people have been turning to cremation and direct burial as an alternative to a traditional funeral, mortality is a fact.

Without doing your research, making prior arrangements and knowing your rights, you stand to lose much more than a loved one over this ordeal. But don’t let the “family business” purveyors take the “fun” out of your funeral – there are preparatory measures, from research to consulting services to non-profit organizations to make sure that your, or your loved one’s, life is celebrated in the most appropriate fashion. There’s no need to bury your money in the process.

Prepare Financially

Second to titanic investments, such as education, a home and a car, a funeral will be one of the most substantial expenses you’ll face. Unfortunately, the one party everyone attends specifically to celebrate a life is one during which the celebrant won't be partaking.

If you are terminally ill, going skydiving, encountering an anticipated departure, or simply want to be prepared, you should likely declare your wishes with an “advance health-care directive,” via a living will or health care power of attorney. Before checking out caskets, researching funeral homes and reserving a burial plot, communicating your burial wishes to your loved ones is paramount to beginning funeral preparations. (AARP offers a good primer on approaching this often difficult topic of discussion.)

Whether you wish a traditional burial, a cremation, or otherwise (ex. Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes were shot from a circus cannon), with proper foresight, you can begin now to prepare for your burial. The first way is to invest in a term or whole life insurance policy (while you’re still healthy). The bereaved also has the option of setting up a Totten trust, a low interest rate savings account, specifically employed to pay for a funeral. Another option is to set up a joint bank account, whereby the other person on the account can be trusted to use the account to pay for your funeral. There are also irrevocable funeral trusts – think prepaid funeral – to cover burial expenses. 

What You’re Paying For

In addition to the funeral home’s basic services fee (approximately $1,595, according to NFDA), the vast array of services, preparations and amenities that constitute commemorative service can easily reach tens of thousands of dollars. Here are a few examples: casket, urn, flowers, wake, church, hearse, cemetery, headstone, etc. Of course to avoid all of this you can have a simple home burial (totally legal in most states), but many people consider that quite untraditional.

But it’s not surprising that modern funerals have become as customizable as a cell phone or car – caskets range from the bare bones pine box, to Michael Jackson’s $25,000 gold-plated casket, and may indeed run you extra if you require a custom casket due to obesity. For more, New York State’s Department of Health offers a consumer’s guide to arranging a funeral. Other states offer similar resources            

Burial Options

Before jumping into the cozy casket of your choosing, know what’s essential, what’s legal and what your rights are. Consult the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule and its corresponding Consumer Guide.

According to Federal law, items and services available at the funeral home must be presented in writing and disclosed. It is important to keep in mind that state and local laws also have bearings on funeral services.

Many funeral homes offer package funerals, correlating to the funeral of your choosing. Even if you opt for a package deal, make sure to request a general price list of the services you’ll be paying for. Packages often include all sorts of luxuries, such as flowers, chapel service, limousine and more.

If you envision yourself having emotional difficulty carrying out such arrangements or you would just like third party consultation, consider negotiating a licensed funeral director (licensed by the National Funeral Directors Association). In most states, you are required to use a licensed funeral director to file the death certificate and make arrangements, however Spartan or elaborate and celebratory they may be.

“Traditional” Burial: According to the Federal Trade Commission, a traditional burial is “generally the most expensive type of funeral” for it involves viewing services at a church or funeral home, including embalming and dressing the body, hearse transportation, casket, cemetery plot, etc.

Direct Burial: After obtaining a burial permit the body is buried directly after death sans visitation, embalming or dressing. Basic services fees are due to the funeral director/funeral home for transportation, filing of death certificate, plot arrangement.

Cremation: By opting to cremate the body, the consumer avoids the costs for embalming, dressing, burial and casket. A casket is generally not required, though some form of container to hold the cremated remains is. The consumer will likely have to compensate the funeral director for basic services, transportation and the cremation itself. Though no viewing of the body occurs, consumers often hold commemorative services at a location of their discretion.

Home Burial: Having filed the death certificate and acquired a burial certificate (usually through a licensed funeral director), a home burial is possible, and legal in many states.

Donation of the Body to Science: An option many have explored is donating the remains for medical or other scientific research. Donors can choose to give their organs to those in medical need. Much of the cost of the arrangement is covered, besides transportation and the most basic services, because a body donated to science is then cremated for free.